A Million Miles in a Thousand Years

I completed Donald Miller's newest book, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, on Saturday. The book definitely has Miller's unique writing style but relays a more mature version than his readers have seen in the past. Miles is the 5th of Miller's books (you can read snippets of them here) to be published and I have read every one. It's weird to me, but I think he's the only author who I've read every book by. That sentence seems weird to me - probably because I ended the sentence with a preposition. Sue me.

The basic premise of this book, as I seem to remember addressing in an earlier blog post, is Miller talking about his learning to view his life as a story, and in the process, realizing that his life was really boring. He came to believe that if people had watched his life in movie form, they would have either fall asleep or left the theatre early. As a result of that realization, he set out to radically change his life, and thereby writing a better life story. In Miles, Miller teaches about what makes a good story and then shares experiences from his own life that exemplify successes and failures in his attempt and making his life into a good story. Some parts of the book are educational, others are hilarious (although the funny parts are few and far between, in contrast to some of his past books), and still others are utterly heart wrenching.

In reading the book, the writing hit a brief lull for me sort of early on, but then steadily gained momentum before blindsiding me with one of my favorite "book sections" I've ever read. It was at this point that I Facebooked my feelings of excitement of almost being done with the book, but also being sad because it meant the book was almost over. I got a much larger response to that post than expected (20ish comments), so it was encouraging to know I'm not the only one who experiences that tension.

I've included below some of my favorite quotes and paragraphs from the book. Read them if you'd like; if you plan to read the book, I suggest avoiding the long paragraphs I quote because what Miller says will be more powerful if you read them in the context of the book, and I don't want to ruin any huge moments for you. I could have written more quotes, but these are more than enough for one entry. Plus, I'm not sure about copyright laws and I don't want to get sued for copying the whole book onto my blog.

People love to have lived a great story, but few people like the work it takes to make it happen. But joy costs pain. (p. 100)

A general rule in creating stories is that people don’t want to change. They must be forced to change. (p. 100)

Fear isn’t only a guide to keep us safe; it’s also a manipulative emotion that can trick us into living a boring life. (p. 108)

The main way we learn story is not through movies or books; it’s through each other. You become like the people you interact with. And if your friends are living boring stories, you probably will to. We teach our children good or bad stories, what is worth living for and what is worth dying for, what is worth pursuing, and the dignity with which a character engages his own narrative. (p. 160)

I think this [referencing a story is when most people give up on their stories. They come out of college wanting to change the world, wanting to get married, wanting to have kids and change the way people buy office supplies. But they get into the middle and discover it was harder than they thought. They can’t see the distant shore anymore, and they wonder if their paddling is moving them forward. None of the trees behind them are getting smaller and none of the trees ahead are getting bigger. They take it out on their spouses, and they go looking for an easier story. (p. 179)

Before this, I couldn’t understand why a person would commit suicide. And while I now have the perspective that only comes from distance, and the perspective always comes, I know the power a lie has to shrink time into what seems the eternal end of things. It is a true miracle I survived that hour. I wasn’t numb anymore. I was allowed to feel the brunt of it. The bones penetrated my chest in a sudden rip, emptying a body of blood down my shirt and onto my lap. The blood pooled in the lap of my pants and seeped into the carpet in my hotel room. I clasped my hand over my heart and knelt between the bed and the television and rolled onto the floor and cried out to God a lamenting demand that he would come and save me from the sorrow that, for the immensity of it, I could only attribute to him in the first place. I didn’t want to learn whatever it was he wanted to teach me. I cried out to him an angry petition for rescue. I doubted him and need him at the same time. God seem to me, in that moment, a cruel father burning a scar into my skin with his cigarette. And yet I knew he was the only one with the power to make the pain go away. (p. 195).

I don’t mean to insinuate there are no minor climaxes to human stories. There are. A kid can try to make the gootball team and in a moment of climax sees his name on the coach’s list. A girl can want to get married and feel euphoric when the man of her dreams slides a rin on her finger. But these aren’t the stories I’m talking about. These are substories. When that kid makes the football team, he is going to find out that playing football is hard, and he’s going to find himself in the middle of yet another story. And the girl is going to wake up three months into her marriage and realize she is, in fact, still lonely, and so many of her issues haven’t gone away. And if both of these people aren’t careful, they’re going to get depressed because they thought the climax to their substory was actually a climax to the human story, and it wasn’t. The human story goes on. (p. 202-203)

We don’t know how much we are capable of loving until the people we love are being taken away, until a beautiful story is ending. (p. 223)

:: Donald Miller, himself raised without a father, started a mentorship program called "The Mentoring Project" for fatherless boys in America as a result of his desire to live a better story and help others. The program has gained a great deal of attention as evidenced by that fact that Miller has had several meetings with President Obama regarding fatherlessness in America. Miller blogs here and you can follow him on Twitter if you so choose: @donmilleris.